I miss my childhood sometimes. I miss being carefree and liberated from responsibility. I miss my dog and the comfort of my home. There are many regrets that I have today regarding my parents knowing that their not here. The most regretful is my unforgiving behavior towards them. As I child I fought with them over trivial things. Things that now seem insignificant. Even now, a few days back I was extremely rude with them so they would have my passport made. I insulted my mother, doubted her love for me and snapped at my father. Later I couldn’t control the guilt that was boiling inside me. It tore me apart and there was a time when I felt so ashamed, I didn’t want to face them. Yet they forgave me. If I asked them today, they wouldn’t even remember. That’s how allah has made parents. Forgiving and forgetful. Giving them one percent of his love and leaving the rest to himself. Subhanallah
I know they will be back in a few weeks inshallah, yet I miss them terribly. I miss knowing that their here. i think of the countless times I have let them down. Disobeyed them. Outright said no to them. Although allah says that you shouldn’t even say aah to your parents yet I have. I have hurt them and made them cry. I have made them wished that they never had me. Although I know these were words uttered in absolute rage still I was the reason for this provocation. Remembering these incidents brings tears to my eyes. It makes tight knots in my stomach. Its painful to remember yet I do. I wonder if allah will ever forgive me for this. I think of many ways to please him yet I do the thing that displeases him the most.
So like a criminal whose just been guilty of his offence, I submit to mine. I pray for parents like I don’t pray for myself. I pray for their health and prosperity and their dreams to come true. I pray that they go to heaven and my and brother and I become sadqa-e-jarain for them. I pray like theres no tomorrow. I pray for allah to accept my prayers.
I pray for them to have a safe journey and a blissful one.
I thank allah for giving me parents. The love of both. The affection and devotion of both. The encouragement and support of both. Thank you allah for giving me all the things that I needed to become the person iam today. ameen
I know they will be back in a few weeks inshallah, yet I miss them terribly. I miss knowing that their here. i think of the countless times I have let them down. Disobeyed them. Outright said no to them. Although allah says that you shouldn’t even say aah to your parents yet I have. I have hurt them and made them cry. I have made them wished that they never had me. Although I know these were words uttered in absolute rage still I was the reason for this provocation. Remembering these incidents brings tears to my eyes. It makes tight knots in my stomach. Its painful to remember yet I do. I wonder if allah will ever forgive me for this. I think of many ways to please him yet I do the thing that displeases him the most.
So like a criminal whose just been guilty of his offence, I submit to mine. I pray for parents like I don’t pray for myself. I pray for their health and prosperity and their dreams to come true. I pray that they go to heaven and my and brother and I become sadqa-e-jarain for them. I pray like theres no tomorrow. I pray for allah to accept my prayers.
I pray for them to have a safe journey and a blissful one.
I thank allah for giving me parents. The love of both. The affection and devotion of both. The encouragement and support of both. Thank you allah for giving me all the things that I needed to become the person iam today. ameen
2 comments:
You're already a for of sadqa e jariya for your parents, mashAllah. Keep doing good, that's all Allah SWT asks of us. To keep trying.
a source of sadqa...
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