ramblings....

as i stare at the tiny diamond on my ring that shines out loud in my face, i think about happiness. alhamdolah god has been kind. iam happy. i think ive made peace with my share of problems. they dont disturb me like they used to.i think ive matured in many ways during these months.
i have been wrong and sorry
i have hurt and apologised
i have been compensated by you and god. hes great...
anyway, yesterday was eid and it dragged for so long. then finally the little munchkins of my life came to save the day. they are twins and possess all the energy in the world. drinking fanta all day made it much worse.lol. anyway, they were driving my sick dada mad who needs plenty of quiet and alone time. so mum and i decided to take them outside. we were so tired and didnt have any energy to play with them, so we got a little mean.. muah ha ha ha....i told the girl twin to run and find at least 5 kinds of stones and throw them in the little pond, a little away from us. then i told her to sing any nursery rhyme she knew three times. the poor munchkin went and sang twinkle twinkle little stars three times, while counting on her little fingers. then i made the boy twin do the same thing. he sang baba black sheep. mum and i laughed and rolled over. hahahah....then i sent both of them on a mission to collect leaves, more stones, wet the stick and at last touch the car and come back. while the munchkins ran, laughed and played, mum and i got some lonesome time to eachother. i think she was glad that i joined her.
then my family made fun of my cooking and eating habbits. my pops told them that shes gonna join some cooking classes. yeah right, i chuckled. nice joke puppa!
pops: shes graduating, acha hai haandi seekhlay
me: thats the last thing i plan to do
uncle:yes we know her, we know what to find at her house....steaks, burgers, sandwiches, salads...
chorus laughter.....this is a very popular joke...my cooking...
uncle: so her hubby to be, he likes to eat?
pops: good joke... hes the least bothered about food..
me: yes..and i couldnt be happier...
phopo: he'll want food once you guys get married...you'll be making proper meals..
pops: i'll have to bring my own food to your house beta..whenever i visit...
me: which means you'll visit less?....lol
so this conversation went on for a while ....until it was time to go and i stole some of the forbidden cake...muah ha ha evil laugh

keep on praying for the good times.....

I know that you don’t want to talk to me, hear my voice or look at my face. I can probably understand that you have been hurt and you need time to recover. It’s hard to acknowledge this but I know, and Iam trying to live this hard truth of my life.

I have apologized to you and god in many ways, through many words. No day goes by when I don’t feel the guilt or remorse but I still apologize hoping you might get past this. It’s never too late and in our case it can never be.

I feel through not communicating, there are unspoken words that need to be heard and feelings cleared. I don’t know what you are thinking but I want you to know that life is a lot larger than it seems. Holding on to grudges and hiding your feelings especially from me will not get you too far. Life is short and seems less sometimes. But this is the only life that we‘ll ever have to ourselves. It’s too short for hatred, dislike, disbelief and anger. It is too minute to be spent agonizing, without empathy and compassion. My grandfather might have cancer. He’s dying and we all know it. We now wish for things that we had never said to him. We now yearn to have treated him better. His frail arms and pale eyes make us want to never forgive ourselves sometimes. But what we wish the most is to spend most of our time with him. To make right what we made wrong. To heal wounds we injured in the past. To love him and let him be loved. To make him smile so that he forgets his pain for a while. To make beautiful that little time that we have left with him.

People go through such severe hardships in life that they forget the meaning of life. Alhamdoliah we have been spared from such atrocities. God forbid if anything happened to either of us, I don’t want either of us to spend the rest of our life in pain thinking we had not done what we did. And there are people who are alive but spiritually dead. Their soul has died. And they wish that they had said the magic words to their loved ones, had made them feel loved before it was too late………