Friday, June 19, 2009

its that time of the year

Everyone around me either has become a mother or is in the process. Its frightening. My cousin recently had a second baby daughter and mashallah shes adorable. My friend from usa also has an adorable baby girl. Then just random people I know on facebook, old classmates, some seniors, all have become mothers. And iam just shocked to see them in that role. Iam old enough to be a mother myself but can never think of such a responsibility at the moment. It really does frighten me the thought and concept of motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, I love children, especially babies. But to think of having my own just freaks me out sometimes.
To be a mother is both a challenging and patient task. When your little one demands to be held and cries beyond imagination especially when you’re in the middle of cooking or doing some equally important chore. There is absolutely no time for yourself. No time and you find yourself juggling between different errands. I have also noticed how one has to give up on a lot of hobbies and make tremendous sacrifices. My cousin for instance has a business degree but does not work because her children are small. She says she’ll go back to work once her kids become older but I doubt that would be the case. The older your kids get, the bigger and worse their problems become.
Also there is a loss in your diet because all you think of now is how well your kids are eating. Mothers forget how important their diet is, prob more important than their kids because their the ones who have to handle them.
No sense of fashion or dressing. Since we’ve become mothers we can dress in a sloppy and shabby manner because everyone knows were busy, we don’t have time. They hardly take out time for themselves.
I think being a mother from a woman is a huge hormonal change. But mothers need not forget that their women too at the end of the day. Some mothers will not try to lose weight after birth and that results in a shapeless figure. To spend time on oneself is integral. This is very important for a woman’s self confidence. Her independence is slaved and maternal instincts are on a rise. But most mothers just cave in. they spend so much time with the baby and in the house that they become patients of post depression. They cease to go out, refuse invitations saying this is the bonding time. Most don’t realize what their missing. Its important to give time to your child but you need time for yourself too.
I don’t know what kind of a mother iam going to become but watching other people really puts me on alert.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi there, we generally percieve that this is the kind of attitude a new mother has. shes got no time for herself, is shapeless, has no dress sense left, is not social. but id just like to point out that not ALL mothers are life that. with the right kind of partner and some family help you can get back your life and shape in no time. im a mother of an 8 month old. im back to my old shaoe, i work full time from 9-5 and i go out with my kid every night!
i was also under the same impression as you, but when you are determined to change the way ppl's perception of new mothers, then you work really hard at it. im sure when ur time comes, you will get the strenght of spending you time as well as bonding with ur child... All the best!
www.sananizar.wordpress.com

seeker said...

hi sana,
iam really glad to have met a mother like u...i was trying to find some examples..mothers shud be like you, not lethargic but rather active and out going.....good going sana